At that same time it became evident that my father-in-law, who was in his late 90's, needed someone full time to help him live out the remainder of his life. He had all his mental faculties and was rather healthy for 97 years old, but time had taken his hearing and macular degeneration had taken his sight. He wanted to stay in his own home and had no desire to move to an assisted living facility. So, it was a no-brainer that Lovey and I needed to move to Midland, move in with Papa and help him have a comfortable life for however many years the Lord was going to give him.
We sold our home and estate-saled pretty much all we had. Our possessions consist of a 10' x 10' storage unit. Papa's home was a two-story so Lovey and I moved in upstairs. Talk about moving back in with your parent, HA!
Thus began our "retirement". It was a blessing and an honor to take care of Papa. It meant so much to us to help him pass on to his ever after and eternal home with God. He went home on November 16, 2016 at the age of 98-1/2.
Since that time Lovey and I, at the suggestion of Father Jay, took our time to grieve and began our prayers on what to do with our future. We still very much wanted to move to North Carolina as we loved it so and the lifestyle we would have there was how we wanted to live in our retirement. At the same time it was important to us to do and be where the Lord wanted us to be. My prayer life became constant; just waiting for an answer, a feeling, any little whisper from the Holy Spirit that we were making the right decision.
My parents are still alive. The majority of my family are in Texas and Oklahoma. Should I move so far away from all of them? So many fears began to creep into my psyche. We were afraid of doing something against the Lord's will; afraid of building our final home; afraid of being alone after one of us died first. Those fears began to paralize both of us.
Here we are two years after Papa's passing. I know I am not going to receive an actual booming voice from God telling me, "Yes, go ahead with the plans you desire for yourselves. It's Okay, I approve". But from my prayers and conversations with God over the past 2-1/2 years, I am coming to realize that it's Okay to be afraid of the unknown that is ahead of us. I can rely on God and know that he is still going to be there to protect me and take care of me even when we make the wrong decisions.
So...we have decided to go ahead, to move forward and "do afraid". It's a scary move yet this rejuvenated trust I have in Jesus is going to make it an exciting adventure to see how the Lord will take care of us on this new journey.
